


Neshama

by CelestialHeavens1



Series: Of Spies and Conmen [3]
Category: Covert Affairs, White Collar
Genre: Canon Jewish Character, F/M, Jewish Character, Secret Identity, Secrets, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialHeavens1/pseuds/CelestialHeavens1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked so memorizing when he painted. "You're staring," he teased without looking up from his work. She stepped inside and closed the door.<br/>"What's neshama?" she blurted out, forgetting how she had been trying to think of ways to ease the question into the conversation.</p><p>Based off of the beautiful nickname that Eyal has for Annie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Neshama

**Author's Note:**

> Season 4, before the finale.
> 
> Based off of the beautiful nickname that Eyal has for Annie. When I wrote The Lives and Lies of Conmen and Spies, Sara was originally part of it and I wondered if what if Neal called Sara by the same name that Eyal, who is his brother in this, calls Annie. And of course, Sara is one to question Neal on everything... and thus, I present Neshama.

**Neshama נשמה**

_literally "breath"; related to intellect and the awareness of God; can mean "soul" or "spirit"; darling; used as a term of endearment between men and women, children and friends_

 

Sara rolled over in bed, welcoming Neal's weight against her as she kissed his back. Tears streamed down her face as she finally broke down from the emotionally taxing day she'd had at work today that had ended with her almost being shot. Suddenly, his weight was gone and she was being cradled like a child. His fingers were in her hair as he soothed her, calming her. She was almost on the verge of sleep when she heard him whisper:

"Shhh, _neshama_. Everything's okay. You're okay."

Despite being so relaxed and nearly unconscious to the world, the word caught her attention and she filed it away in her head for later.

* * *

The next day, Sara woke up well rested and feeling very content. She had almost forgotten about Neal's strange word and went through the day without a thought towards it. It was only when she heard gossiping in the break room, where some of the more air-headed women from her floor were giggling at the names their boyfriends and husbands called them. When she went back to her office, she typed in the word 'neshama' into Google and she was surprised at what she found. 

There was a Wikipedia link, which she really shouldn't be surprised about, considering there was a Wikipedia page for everything. However, it was the words underneath that surprised her.

 

_Neshama - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia_  
 _en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neshama_

_From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Jump to: navigation, search. Neshama ( Hebrew:_ נשמה _) is a Hebrew word which can mean "soul" or "spirit". It may refer to:._  
  
 _HEBREW speakers: is "Neshama" a nickname for women? - Yahoo! Answers_  
 _answers.yahoo.com › ... › Travel › Africa & Middle East › Israel_

_Apr 5, 2012 - Neshama -- soul; (slang) darling. Neshama, could you make me some coffee? A beautiful and spiritual word, you'll often hear both men and women ..._

 

Hebrew? She knew that Neal knew languages beside English, but why would he know Hebrew of all things? More than that, why would he be calling her Hebrew words?

When she got back to Neal's apartment, he was already home, shirtless, painting something on the canvas. She kind of hated to interrupting him. He looked so memorizing when he painted. "You're staring," he teased without looking up from his work. She stepped inside and closed the door.

"What's _neshama_?" she blurted out, forgetting how she had been trying to think of ways to ease the question into the conversation.

"What?" He set the palate and brush down, walking over to her. "Why do you ask?"

"You called me that last night." He blinked, obviously realizing that he had indeed called her that word that had sent her on a quest to understand why he had called her it. He walked to the wine rank and grabbed a bottle and two glasses. "Getting me drunk won't make me forget my question."

"I know," he told her, looking serious, "It's just not a question I can answer sober because after I do, the next question out of your mouth will be 'where did you learn it'?" Off her surprised look, he added, "I know you, Sara."

She sat down at the chair he had pulled out for her and sipped at the glass of wine he poured. "So?"

"Neshama means darling in Hebrew."

She shrugged sheepishly, "I kind of figured that one out from my Internet search. So you were right about my next question- where did you learn it? And why call me that? I mean, you know French. I would think that would come more second nature to you than Hebrew would."

Neal sighed. "I'm not drunk enough to start answering those questions."

It was several glasses of wine later before Neal started talking. "I was born in Tel Aviv," he said suddenly, causing Sara to look up. "My mother had a brief relationship with a man she met in America, my father. When he was arrested, she moved back home to Israel and I grew up there."

"That doesn't seem so complicated." Neal stared down at the wine as he twirled it around the glass.

"When it's put like that, no, it doesn't. It's easy to make things seem black and white." With those words, he took a long sip, finishing off the contents of the glass and stood up, taking their empty glasses to the sink.

She frowned at this comment and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Does Peter know?"

"No," he said simply, supplying no extra information. As he passed, he dropped a kiss to the top of her head, enveloping her in his arms. She sunk into the warmth of them. "I think it's time we call it a night." 

"Okay." She pulled him over to the bed, curling into him as they lay close. "Goodnight, Neal."

"Goodnight… _neshama_."


	2. Neshama Sheli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There wasn't originally going to be a second chapter, but due to the popularity of this installment, I decided to write a part two.
> 
> Takes place after Neshama, but still in season 4.

**Neshama Sheli**

_My soul; used to call someone you love; used to say that the person is as important to you as your soul; the full version of neshama_

The last several days had been wonderful, like a dream. Maybe Neal was right… maybe they could stay up in the clouds together. They were up on June's rooftop, the spring air pleasant, as they sipped red wine and ate Chinese food, in reminiscence of their first "date" up on the FBI's rooftop.

"Tell me about Israel, about your life there?" Sara finally asked.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

Neal took a sip, walking over towards the edge to look over. "I'm the middle child. My older brother, Eyal, and I worked in the same profession up until recently and my sister was an art teacher. She died in the Passover bombing in '02."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, standing up to slip over beside him and placing her hand on his arm. Neal shoo his head.

"It was a long time ago."

"It doesn't make the pain of loosing them go away." She leaned her head against his shoulder and he made a noise of agreement. "So, what about your mother and your brother? Your brother was an art thief too?"

A small smile came across Neal's handsome face and Sara smiled as well, glad she'd brought him off a less gloomy subject. He turned and brought his hand up to the other side of her head, drawing her nearer to him and kissing his temple. "Come on,  _neshama_. You should know by now that nothing's ever that easy with me." She turned her head away to keep him from seeing the blush on her cheeks. "But no, Eyal was not an art thief- though I was allegedly very good at that. He did what I did- do- have done for the past thirteen years."

"Which is?" Sara looked up at him and he smiled at her, his eyes full of mystery and intrigue. He knew she'd never be able to resist not knowing, but wondered how much he'd willing give her. She knew Neal well enough to know that if she were to back him into a corner, he'd find a way out, whether it be climbing over the wall, or going underground to avoid the person backing him into the corner to begin with. "You don't have to answer, I mean, if you don't want to," she quickly backtracked.

Neal shook his head. "I want to..."

"But-"

"But it's a long story." Sara glanced at him.

"We have time."

* * *

They wound up curled together on Neal's couch, Sara's eyes drooping shut as her head lay on his chest. It never seized to amaze him how he went from hating this woman so much to wanting her to be a part of his life that he didn't even let Kate in on. They fit together like they were made for each other and she trusted him. He thanked  _HaShem_  that she trusted him and had so much faith in him when he had done so little to deserve it, that even what he had told her, the truth about his past, she was still here, almost asleep against him. It was, in his opinion, a miracle.

"Well, that explains the Raphael."

"What about it?"

Sara sat up, laughing. "Well, after you and Peter left, while Kramer was still going over the paperwork, a couple of Interpol agents with a liaison from Mossad came in and told him that they had a warrant for that painting along with the original provenance papers. You should have seen the look on his face."

He burst into laughter. "Well, that explains why he was so against me after that." Neal chuckled again and Sara settled back down against him.

"Neal?"

"Hmm?" he asked, his fingers running up and down the length of his back.

"Does Peter know?"

"No. And until my sentence is up, we're keeping it that way. I do not want to go back to prison on espionage charges."

Sara sat up abruptly. "Peter wouldn't do that."

"He might not have a choice. He's a FBI agent and I wouldn't ever ask him to commit treason. Besides, there are plenty of people out there like Kramer who would use that knowledge as blackmail against Peter and I and then I'd be stuck in D.C. until the world ends." She frowned, leaning back against him. "And Peter would probably have a stroke if he knew."

"That's not fair that they don't take credit for what you were doing."

"How can they? Taking credit for an operation on U.S. soil would basically destroy Israel's alliance with America. My brother helped put it on shaky enough grounds with the DCI's wife." Her brow furrowed and she looked at him funny. "It's a long story that I'll tell you if I can pull enough strings to get you the clearance to hear it." He kissed her forehead, "I promise,  _neshama."_

She made a little noise of contentment as she curled back in against him. "Okay." She was silent for a while. "Did Kate know?"

"No," he told her.

"Why?"

"Honestly?" He sighed, shrugging, "I never even thought about telling her. Kate saw me as a conman and a thief. She'd never seem me as anything beyond that. You do."

He could see tears glistening in her eyes as she stretched up to kiss him fully on the lips. When they pulled back, she blinked a few time, to try to keep herself from crying. A truthful Neal, it seemed to Sara, was an overly romantic, sweet, but dangerous Mossad operative who called her by loving nicknames and kissed her like she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Stay the night?"

"Do you really have to ask?" He smiled, a real smile and scooped her carefully into his arms as they headed to bed.


End file.
